In the dugout, me and my Chinese takeout.
Don’t take this literally but with every ounce of disregard for actual literacy and authentic Chinese food…. General Tso’s is the SHHHHHIIITTTT!!!
Eh-hemm..Extra wet of course.
Of course I accentuate the smacks after my tastebuds stand up on their toe-tops and attack food sides, food fronts and food backs.
My teeth do the “happy feet,” anxious to kill what’s already been fried, boiled, broiled, baked, grilled, sauted, stewed and skewed in oil to death already; proverbial big little snacks.
My tongue claps-on the roasting light, making things just a little more tender for me to absolutely deeee-vour.
I mean under the second like the order clerk on the phone always tells me that my food will be ready in under 10 minutes and delievered in under the hour.
Saliva, sabotaging sections between fused flavors… Frightening nosey unaccustomed bystanders… Taunting my neighboors.
I doubt the cook that made this understands my painful passion to 100-lb curl this fork attached to this extra scrumptious piece to my MOUTH!!!! I trick my brain into assuming every bite as hors d’oeuvres seldom served.
Oooh my stomach and esophagus were once besties but now they’re trait-ors.
There goes a dash of soy sauce to exemplify my liking,
I, Cuisine Viking, stings this fluid of tasty nature to the outter coats of this fine steam rice; and all of her rice-lings…
5 spice, dream come true, in the land of all other spice things!
Its an incredible feeling, peppers kicking my tonsil’s ass, its all I know,
In the world of Chinese food: I love me some General Tso!