Cupid shot me in the ass with a corky arrow,
5 years later, I’ve got the ring, that delectable lady and the kid…. Hummingbird intentions to put my face all in her flowers… Lol, but seriously wedding hymns and every song bird whistling to include flamingos and sparrows.
So I revisited Sir Cupid, aka Theo, to thank him for the unnecessary nudge,
Unnecessary because I was already falling for her; previously pulling arrows out my ass from the last cupid, Leo.
She’s that love I’d bake cakes and fudge for,
Please don’t judge.
I’ll be everything in the book and some,
Whipped, head-over-heels, sucker and sprung!
Problem is, anyways, Leo and Theo now have an ongoing altercation over who shot my ass first.
As awkward enough as it is to have a conversation publicly about being shot in the ass, they’ve initiated a standing order to shoot my gluteus on sight.
So every time I see my lady, I’m inches away from tearing her clothes off on spite.
From obeying my thirst to kissing her face off like she has on Sprite.
To date I’ve been shot 900,542,638 times… To include church pews, lunch lines, barbershops, restroom urinals, the elliptical and more!
I think I even got shot once while dreaming of her; could I ask for more?
I took some downtime during peace hours and did some research, turns out Theo stole Leo’s cupid crush and there’s more!
They’re brothers… like
I’m all for being insanely romanticized by my significant other, until I’m that deranged degenerate lover but seriously, I’m the target of celestial studded heart-backed harpoons because two cupids are in the midst of a masculinity disagreement???!!
****Note to self, recommend Maury or Jerry Springer.